Whether a woman is in a bar, on a train or shopping, if she is attracted to you, her body will unconsciously communicate that attraction. There are seven subtle ways in which a woman can communicate that she’s interested in you:
1. Positioning: She opens up her body to you by turning towards you, allowing you to get a good view of her.
2. Flicks her hair: She will tease or flick her hair away from her face to expose her cheeks and her neck.
3. Licks her Lips: Here, I don’t mean the deliberate, filmy action that most Bollywood vamps like to indulge in. A woman, if she’s attracted to you, will lick her lips almost compulsively, and she often doesn’t even know that she’s doing it.
4. Looks at you and then looks down or away: She wants to convey interest but not overdo it.
5. Points her Foot at You: While sitting, if she dangles her shoe off her foot with the toes pointing towards you, then you are in.
6. Smiles: Once she smiles, you need to figure out what kind of a smile it was. If she raises her eyebrows in a come on gesture she’s screaming, “What the hell are you waiting for? A formal invitation from my pop?” Go ask her out, NOW!!
7. Touching: If she’s let you invade her personal space, then you’re spot on, dude. And if she touches you on the arm or wrist to get your attention, then you may as well book the hotel now.
Mind Your Body Language
I was once holidaying in Goa and saw this guy trying to chat up a girl on the beach. It was obvious that the girl was interested too. Although he had the looks and the body to get her undivided attention, he just blew it. He was shuffling his feet in the sand like a naughty four year old school boy, his hands were fidgety and unsure and he was looking down and away but never at the woman. He had positioned himself two yards away from her and every time she took a step towards him, he moved two steps back. In the end, she got bored and gave up on him. So here are a few important body language tips to ensure that you don’t make the mistakes that my Goan friend made:
1. Eye Contact: Eye contact is definitely the most important facet of body language, since each of you can transmit so much and pick up so much from the subtle changes in eye language. As they are considered to be the windows of the soul, it is difficult to lie through heavily scrutinized eyes. Just look at her all the time. Resist the urge to do a regular sweep to check out who comes in and goes out of the room. Even if a babe with almost no clothes on walks by – just keep listening and looking at the girl you are with. Only if you pass this crucial test will she be mightily impressed and mentally tick the box ‘He’s Mine’.
2. Mirroring: This is the process of copying her gestures and movements. If she leans forward, you lean forward, if she rests her chin on her hands, you do the same. We all tend to do this subconsciously anyway, but you can emphasise it slightly and boost the effect. But avoid scratching your ass if you catch her doing it.
3. Encroach on her Space: We have an invisible comfort zone between ourselves and the next person, whether they be a friend or a stranger, which changes with circumstances (e.g. squeezed together in a bus overflowing with passengers) or mood (during the course of a date). You should generally start off apart then move in closer as her defences soften. Once, you are in her ‘private exclusion zone’ you have been accepted into her inner circle. Use this as a sign that she is warming up to you.
4. Touching: It’s OK to touch but don’t try to put your hand up her skirt the second she moves towards you. The trick is to gently and frequently brush your fingers against her hand or her shoulders. But don’t pat her – she’s not a dog. Women hate being patted. Move a strand of her out of her face or take her hand in yours. She would definitely like that.
5. Lean Closer: Once you are inside her personal exclusion zone, whisper something to her – anything – be it a compliment, a secret or just because the bar or the restaurant is too noisy. Once you have got your hot, wet lips gently brushing her ear, you have set her up for the Kiss.
Xpert Tip: When you kiss her for the first time, how deep should you go? While tongues should obviously be a part of the equation, don’t go so deep that you are able feel her tonsils.